I just watched a handful of teasers and a lovely segment on ABC’s Good Morning America (which truly is my morning show of preference) where they talked about the “iconic photo,” “the classic photo,” — but they let me down today: not one mention of the photographer (unless I missed it).  To me that was like getting half the story.

The photo of the sailor kissing the nurse, made famous in Life magazine, was capture by the accomplished photographer, Alfred Eisenstaedt. Although Navy photographer, Victor Jorgensen, snapped a similar image that was published in the New York Times, it never quite achieved the recognition of the Eisenstaedt version.

Wonderful mystery surrounds theis spot photo because the identity of the subjects was never confirmed. Life magazine was even so cautious as to not assume the woman as a nurse when they captioned it, “In New York’s Times Square a white-clad girl clutches her purse and skirt as an uninhibited sailor plants his lips squarely on hers.” Quite responsible.
So, who credited the photo correctly today?

Yahoo News did. The New York Post did. Canada.com did. Even StraitsTimes out of Singapore did.

Is this a difference between broadcast and print/online journalism? … Perhaps a perception that the public doesn’t need to know the details when you have merely 30 seconds to tell the story? … or was it careless oversight?

So word to the wise … if you’re writing and want to protect your content, include attribution language: “You have permission to reprint this information, but kindly source it to author, title, publication and date.”

If you’re the one reporting and incorporating protected content, be fair and be legal. Don’t pass it off as your own. While academic writers are usually most skilled in footnoting, the rest of us can do the courtesy with phrases like these or with an asterisk to mouse type at the bottom.

• “As noted by XXX resource…”
• “According to the XYZ study of year here…”
• “So and so states in his article about thus and such (published where and when)…”

Recently I had occasion to provide content to an editor of an e-letter. He had requested graphics in addition to stats, and when I mentioned attribution, he offered a good idea: have the designer incorporate the source line into the artwork before we send it to him. We did, and now the attribution always travels with the images

Maybe it’s personal experience that prompts me to complain, but I remember being a teenager and having countless adults impart universal truths with the phrase, “They say…” My first reaction was always, “Who’s ‘they’?” And if I couldn’t get a concrete answer, I’d dismiss the advice.

Same is true as we attempt to offer wisdom through the written word. Generally it’s unconvincing to to say, “Studies show that 4 out of 5 individuals do thus-and-such.” It’s far stronger to say, “The Monumental Study by Prominent Research Firm found that, among 50,000 people surveyed in January 2010, 4 out of 5 exhibited this behavior.”

Attribution lends substance to writing. It also gives credit where credit is due. So, thank you Mr. Eisenstaedt, for your remarkable photographic moment, and as we remember it and exploit it, we promise to think of you.

Ducking into the “doorway,” netting rolled and held aside with ties, I walked purposefully toward the back of the field. There was etiquette here. Pick what has ripened first. Be kind to the bushes. And don’t be loud.

This was an experience truly made better by the absence of words. The sounds of nature drifted randomly toward me: bird calls, berries hitting the bottoms of plastic pails, an insect batting its wings against the netting. Considerable time passed before I heard a human voice. Even then, voices were low and words, parsed. I made out phrases like, “How much do you have?, Look at these!, pies and scones.”

My head, usually racing with deadlines and “to do” lists, was clear of clutter. A sea of blue and green flooded in where stress had lived. Berries were abundant this year. I opted for low branches, laden with their heavy bounty.

I did not talk, though words formed in my mind, and I imagined how one might capture the experience as a haiku:   three lean unrhymed lines of 5,7,5 syllables respectively.

Rain-kissed blueberries
sweet clusters among cool leaves
I reach, pluck, eat, smile

I learned that perfectly ripe clusters of blueberries could roll off their delicate stems with the tickle of a few fingers. Looking for the plumpest berries, I walked past bush after bush, picking impulsively. By this time, my toes were wet from the damp grass, and I could feel the sun climbing up my back and neck.

Sun-struck blueberries
sacrifice their perfume, bloom
then turn to fruit fast

With my pail half full, I made my way back to the car and paid for my prize. The scarcity of chatter reminded me to value the pristine paragraph without dialogue , the “pregnant pause” that adds suspense to drama, and the careful timing a comic uses to deliver his best lines. I guess that’s the Zen of writing – we can say a lot by saying nothing at all.

So, here’s an exercise. Without spelling out “I ate a bowl of fresh-picked blueberries,” describe aspects of the experience. Try:

• My teeth came down on blue pulp, sending a burst of summer across my palate

• Once-clean nails were now tinged purple with an ink we couldn’t replicate

• Something had packaged up sky and earth and rolled them into sapphires
  

• The blue ceramic bowl contained a mountain of matching color

• Cookie sheet nearby, I washed them and laid them out like pebbles on a beach

• Some will winter over in the freezer where summer will be locked in icy suspension

Enjoy… Savor … Edit yourself.

I hadn’t planned on sitting in Herman Melville’s pew, but there I was in New Bedford, MA, in the Seaman’s Bethel, when I realized that just a few rows behind me had sat the author of “Moby Dick.” I got up and moved to his seat, hoping to absorb his affinity for words by osmosis.

Apparently he didn’t live in this city as long as most of us think. He had sailed out of New Bedford aboard the Acushnet in 1841 which inspired his great whaling epic, but spent only several weeks eighteen months later, attending this church. However, there is no doubt that he captured an era of seafaring adventure and left an indelible mark on the region.

I don’t remember being enraptured when studying “Moby Dick; ” I recall it more as required reading. However, more recently, someone introduced me to Sena Jeter Naslund’s historic fiction called “Ahab’s wife – Or, The Star-Gazer.” While she uses the Ahab story as a foundation, it is merely a springboard for what has turned out being one of my favorite reads … and it was her words that echoed in my head as I sat in the chapel: “Captain Ahab was neither my first husband nor my last.” Her well-crafted words truly set the stage for my experience in this quaint corner of a city once teeming with Quakers, runaway slaves, and purveyors of the China trade.

In touring the Whaling Museum, I learned of words that have long since slipped from common usage: “scrimshaw busks” (the ivory corset stays that a sailor would laboriously craft but could only “properly” give to a wife or close family member because of their “private” nature)… “fo’c’sle” – adapted from “forecastle,” the unbearably dark, stifling “dorm room” where sailors bunked – and “krill,” that shrimp-like critter which whales still eat but which I had completely forgotten since my high school biology class. Wouldn’t that make a great name for a rock band? Busk Krill – playing at the roadhouse Saturday night.

History has a way with words which often resonate most dramatically in the oral tradition. A few years ago, we heard a docent at the Kit Carson house in Taos, New Mexico, tell the story of Carson and his young wife, Josefa, who were often separated by distance, and of his anguish at the inability to reach her in time before she died from complications of childbirth.  Recounted under the hand-hewn beams and low adobe ceiling of their sitting room, the words came alive.

So what makes words cause the hair on your arms to stand up? I think the power rests in their ability to unlock the imagination, to rekindle a repressed memory, to trigger some genetic coding. For example, I can’t hear the words “paraffin wax” without thinking of berry picking and making jam as a child. Even then, the phrase seemed “old” and intriguing. After hours in the sun, we’d come home sticky and sweet, covered with fiber from dry black raspberry blossoms… fingers stained blue from contact. Sometimes mosquito bites and poison ivy were also part of the prize.

We’d crank up a big, dented aluminum pot filled with our bounty and boil it down, adding pectin and sugar, and pouring the purple elixir into still-hot canning jars. We’d top them off with pools of melted wax which would harden magically even on a hot summer’s night. There was something about that ritual — the perfume of the berried air, the chemical smell of wax — that conjured up kitchens of long ago, gingham aprons, and pantries abundant in sparse winter months.

Writers who can draw from lost language will have a vault of fresh material, so don’t hesitate to pick up that yellowed book in the library to  find some vintage words. Troll your local antique store to learn the names of items that are no longer made. Old, authentic words can lend credibility to that dark mystery, western saga, or personal diary for a character from the past.

Faro anyone?

As a result of a Rolling Stone interview by Michael Hastings, General Stanley McChrystal is out of a job. The former Commander of U.S. and NATO forces in Afghanistan apparently forgot that a reporter never stops doing his. The words he shared with Hastings, even if only casually, were captured, documented, and propagated – and now will live on indefinitely.

Having spent most of my career in the newspaper business (though not on the editorial side), I’ve always been puzzled and amazed at how people will spill their guts when simply asked a few questions. I’m not sure if it’s a sense of self importance, a desire to be polite, a fear of saying “no,” or just the chance to be heard, but down come the walls of privacy and out fall their innermost secrets.

This blog isn’t about whether McChrystal’s comments were on target or inappropriate, but rather, the power of those words – as an unauthorized statement, as a political slam, as a matter of opinion, and simply as great reading material to drive circulation for an industry that sorely needs it. These words will ripple out to spark discussion, prompt investigation, foster analysis, and inspire subsequent rounds of reporting across multiple media channels.

It’s interesting to note that this incident is apparently so volatile that Commenting was turned off on this YouTube video. To me this means that those written words and spoken words would generate so many comments (subsequent words), that they’d launch a firestorm of feedback. Even more interesting, in this video Hastings notes that Obama “does not use words like ‘victory’ and ‘win’ which the military loves.” This makes me wonder if just a sprinkling of those forceful words could help change the presidential persona.

To balance the brouhaha around McChrystal and his words … as I ponder whether freedom of speech should be forfeited when a position of import is accepted … I encountered a wonderful phrase by one of my favorite writers, Malcolm Gladwell, author of The Tipping Point, Blink, Outliers, and What the Dog Saw. In that last publication he says, “Good writing does not succeed or fail on the strength of its ability to persuade. It succeeds or fails on the strength of its ability to engage you, to make you think, to give you a glimpse into someone else’s head.”

While his context relates to the premise for his book, I can easily apply that perspective to the frenzy at hand. I’m guessing that McChrystal did not utter his words to persuade but to air frustrations that were in his own head. Hastings knew those words would engage readers and as any good journalist should, he seized the moment. He saw a story and nailed it.

This is a perfect example where words are so powerful they self-perpetuate on newscasts, around dinner tables, and in water-cooler conversations. With that in mind, this is a good time for writers to brush up on the guidelines about defamatory language. Remember, in most basic terms, slander is spoken and libel is written – yet both can put you at the end of a lawsuit. So take precautions and don’t let personal bias or eagerness interfere with accuracy: checks facts, get well-balanced viewpoints, secure signed releases on quotes, attribute correctly, use reliable sources, and  identify Opinion as such.

But clearly as the former Commander has learned, even under the protection of “Opinion,” words are potent and should not be offered (or taken) lightly.

Truth is, like many, when I want the facts  I don’t want to know how anyone feels. I don’t want to be given a sales pitch. I don’t want to search for salient findings. So give me the data. Put it in short pithy sentences. Bullet points. Infographics. Sound bites. And summarize to save time. Those actions all take a different kind of writing finesse.

Trying to understand that skill set, I talked to a tech writer/documentation manager recently, hoping to distill some guidelines that I could share. You could just “see” the wheels turning as I asked what typifies technical writing – because clearly a tech writer is not impulsive or indulgent. My friend thought a while and said:

• It’s all about “how” – how something works, how it is used, how it can be fixed

• You have to think about the different audiences who might interact with the product or service: buyers, installers, consumers, end users

• Copy is direct and succinct, void of emotion and parsed for simplicity

• There is no bias or perspective – basically there is no voice, certainly no “first person”

• The information has to be technically accurate to maintain credibility

• You have to anticipate delivery of the message, taking into consideration the channels of deployment and how the information will be received

• At the core of tech writing is solid communication – some of those same skills we learned in J School or in a good English class

• Technical illustration might enhance the text, but that, too, must adhere to the standards and styles put in place at the outset

In joking with my buddy, I said, “What if I describe a can opener as I know it and you can describe it technically? ” I then offered a flip description: “It’s one of those kitchen gadgets that lives in the junk drawer. You could have two, but there’s never one in the picnic cooler. Mine had red rubber handles with a doohickey on top that turns a wheel that never quite engages with the lip of the can, so tuna juice spills all over the counter. And oh, yeh, there’s an electric version, too. “

I don’t think my friend was amused because he said, “It’s not as simple as it seems,” and then went on to mention something about accessibility and left and right hand usage, neither of which would have crossed my mind.

I guess my motivation for devising  this comparison was to acquire some discipline that might help us non-tech writers crystallize our copy points and presentation style. So as an exercise, let’s find the words or phrases that don’t belong in factual writing or technical documentation.

• “Golly gee, we’re wowed with this survey and think you’ll enjoy the results.”

Try instead: “Survey results conclude that ABC and prove the efficacy of DEF.”

• “You’ll find in the chart below some blue lines, red lines, and green lines.”

Try instead: “This color-coded chart explains the XYZ dynamic. Blue denotes A, red represents B, and green illustrates C”… or more simply, set up a color key with the appropriate call-outs.

• “A lot of people do this all the time.”

Try instead: “90% of respondents say they exhibit this behavior under these circumstances.” (and source it)

• “To make the soup, put some spices and vegetables into the water and let it boil.”

Try instead: “Add a half teaspoon of salt and a Tablespoon of fresh-chopped parsley to a quart of chicken broth. Stir in a half cup of diced carrots, a quarter cup of rice, reduce heat and simmer for forty minutes.”

• “Plant the bulbs in the garden once it gets colder.”

Try instead, “New England gardeners should plant these bulbs in the fall before  the first hard frost, pointy tip up, 5 inches deep, and 4 inches apart.”

Then, in another part of your brain, you can play frivolously with expressive language about the savory smell of soup steaming in a kettle on a cold winter’s day or the feel of damp earth giving way to bulbs that will produce a wave of color in the spring.

Nice to know there’s more than one way to spin a word.

I have two stories in my head that want to be written. Perhaps you can help.

Story One:
Every day on my drive to work, I see two elderly gentlemen walking arm in arm. Actually, it’s more “arm on arm” because one is sight-impaired and leans ever so slightly on the arm of the other, tapping a cane to define his path. I do not know these men or exactly where they go, but I have a pretty good idea of their route.

Over the past months, I’ve seen them evolve. They are more confident now and visibly more fit. I try to imagine what they talk about on their stroll, who they are, and how they ended up in this small New England town. They could be brothers or cousins, but I feel as if they are friends.

I think this is a friendship that goes back many years, cemented during World War II. I feel like they served together and saw action in France… came home, married, and settled in the same town.

In my mind, they owned small businesses, were good citizens, worked long hours to provide for their families. How one man lost his sight isn’t obvious. Could be a genetic disease, an accident, or perhaps the result of some heroic deed. Maybe the heroism involved the other man. So is there a debt being repaid here? Or is their stroll just an act of mutual enjoyment?

How long have they been walking together? How many miles have they logged?  Looking at them, they could have played in the Minor Leagues. Maybe they have nicknames like “Dash” and “Slugger.” Maybe they have Navy tattoos that are faded with age — a sea serpent and three linked hearts. But who is Natasha and what does the word “Remember” mean?

In the course of their journey, will they share a secret or witness a life-altering event? Is this the beginning of a story, the middle, or the end?

Story Two:
I was riding on the subway several years ago and had the good fortune to get a seat. As I often do, I glanced at the person next to me, not wanting to stare, just observe. I don’t remember the face, but I do remember the hands because they belonged to a wiry black man and were encrusted in gold rings.

The rings weren’t bands in a traditional sense but complex “sculptures” consisting of labyrinths of gold piping and strategically placed chunks of metal. Almost every finger was entwined in gold, defining their shape and tracing the length, in some cases to the tips. This made the man’s arm look like the branch of a tree, raw umber in color, encircled by some metallic ivy.

I felt as if this man were a musician or a sculptor. He projected a strong arts aura. Was he from New Orleans? Africa? Nowhere? Everywhere? Or from a gritty corner of this city?

While I don’t remember his attire, I seem to recall a calm and dapper quality about him. Maybe he was a visiting professor, a diplomat, or a shaman. Who made those rings and why did he wear so many? Did he craft them himself or were they a gift? Was each one significant or were they purely an embellishment?

I wanted to speak with him but hesitated because I had to get off at the next stop. Would he have been friendly or aloof? Would he have spoken with an accent? Maybe he would have told me that the rings were melted from gold coins salvaged from a pirate ship. Maybe they were bequeathed by an eccentric socialite who in her day sipped Absinthe and smoked thin cigars…

I felt as if this man had been wearing those rings for a long time, as if his gnarled fingers formed around them. Did they possess spiritual power? Did they “cure” his arthritis? Did he take them off at night? Had he ever given one to a true love?

Like so many untold stories, it’s up to us writers to discover them, tease them out, infuse them with emotion — and then set them free for others to enjoy.

I’d like to see where these two stories might go. Please comment! Suggest your own plot line or offer a scene on which someone else can build.

Much like Jumanji – that weird film caught between being too scary for kids and too juvenile for adults — no sooner had I broken the vacuum seal and let the aroma escape, out came thundering herds of zebra, wildebeests, and gazelle. There in my kitchen, I was transported to the Serengeti Plain on a cerebral safari. I felt the dry heat of the grasslands, heard the buzz of flies, and in the distance, the occasional grunt, snuffle, and moan of creatures far bigger than myself.

Drinking the savory liquid, I felt the warm adrenaline rush of caffeine, but more than that, the words on the packaging took me there. Phrases like “high plateaus and lofty slopes,” “sparkling brightness,” and “equatorial sun” put pictures in my head. (Kudos to the unknown copywriter who creates for Berkeley & Jensen ® .) The subtle graphics of giraffes and elephants offered subliminal reinforcement.

For a moment I escaped from the routine of housework, a 9-to-5, and the chores that awaited. “Complex flavors hinting of blackberry” made my morning routine so much more intriguing than it deserved. I’m not sure I ever detected the blackberry undertones, but the thought of plump, sweet berries raced through my mind – and into my veins.

Similarly, I remember reading something about the woman who created Banana Nut Crunch cereal for Post.  In selling the idea, she conjured up visions of Grandma’s banana bread, coming warm out of the oven. Who could resist?

That’s why words as descriptors are so essential, but it takes some good instinct to know how much is enough – and when to stop. Just like there’s little room for “purple prose” in strong creative writing, it doesn’t belong in copywriting either. Too much description, and reader tunes out. It’s overkill. So maybe the key here is to plant the seed but let the reader harvest the crop – and crave a second cup.

Big tip: don’t call it a “Media Kit.” Say “integrated collateral,” “first in a series,” “something to put into a folder.” You get the drift.

As a writer, you may be charged with organizing the entire package or at least, creating content for key pieces. Much like a child tackling a school project, it’s wise to divide and conquer. Break the project into small parts. Determine what elements are most important. Then set priorities and realistic deadlines.

Using a “Work Order Form,” “Job Start,” or “Creative Brief” can help crystallize goals and wants. All too often a client will say, “I need this piece of collateral,” only to have given it absolutely no thought. On the other hand, a good sales director will be able to answer these questions on-the-spot — and these are the ones you should ask even if he/she is reluctant to fill out a form:

Strategy

• What is the objective?
• Who is the audience?
• How will this be used?
• Is this a launch piece or sustaining?
• Informational or an offer?
• What is the call to action?
• What is the hoped-for result?
• What is the revenue projection from this piece?

Content and details

• Is there a deadline or promotional code?
• What are the competitive positioning points?
• What are the benefits?
• What are the weaknesses?
• Are there any guarantees?
• Are there any disclaimers?

Messaging and verification

• Should this dovetail with corporate themes?
• Is this on brand? Or is this a new brand?
• Do you have research or sourced statistics?
• Are there any media/industry quotes?

Do’s and Dont’s

• Are there technical terms I should or should not use?
• Is there anything else I should know? (like a previous bad experience)
• Can this be confused with another product or service?
• Is this ready for market?
• Give me the elevator speech about what you do.

Creative needs and production

• Let’s discuss format and quantity.
• What are the budget guidelines?
• Who is the point person for copy approval? Design?
• I’ll need a high res logo, tag line, URL, toll-free number, and address…
• … your professional license number, nonprofit status, trademarks.
• …your BRC and BRE set-ups, postal indicia, non-profit postal port.
• Can I get a comment from the head of your company?
• Please provide customer testimonials cleared for use.

These questions will point you in the right direction in terms of tone, content, and scope.

One more tip: think like a business person. This was conveyed clearly when developing a wall calendar. The designer had set up the months horizontally, 4 months per row. There were 3 rows, which correctly tallies twelve months – so what was the problem? The design didn’t break into business quarters – and that’s the way the world works. By reconfiguring the design into 3 months per row and 4 rows deep, we presented the year in a format that better served the client. Of course, the copy requirements on that job didn’t offer a highly creative forum for the writer, but it was the clear, logical thinking of that writer that turned it into a fully functional piece with exceptional shelf-life.

To that I would add, “And why is so much business writing just plain careless?”

Case in point: I’ve worked for clients who deal with magazines, schools, townships, and corporations. I try to be careful in writing, “Publishers can choose between x and y,” “Educators who sign up early will receive a discount,” “Residents who vote for this override will ensure funding,” and “Decision makers are encouraged to participate in the program.”

Maybe that’s why it’s so infuriating to receive edits that say, “Magazines can choose,” “Schools can sign up,” “Towns can vote,” and “Corporations are encouraged.” Do you see what’s happening here? Of course I know what my clients mean, but they are bestowing human qualities on inanimate objects. Fact is, I’ve never seen a magazine jump off the table to choose anything, a school to hold a pen, an entire town – sidewalks, trees, and all—to belly up to a ballot box, nor have I seen a corporate building lift off its foundation to participate.

Careless writing makes great fodder for programming like Jay Leno’s Headlines where unfortunate typos, exotic names, and poor word selection can offer a good chuckle. Of course I’m of the mind that whenever a clever double-entendre is used in a headline, it’s not an ignorant mistake. I’m convinced those headline writers are yukking it up in the back room, taking bets of whether they can get it past the editor. But I digress.

Nouns aren’t the only victim. Consider adjectives and adverbs.

We just had a good laugh in our family over a mailer that arrived saying a certain company had “lots of raving fans.” As if on cue, we all started exhibiting signs of madness. The better phrase might have been, “Customers of this company offer rave reviews.” Yes, there is a difference between foaming at the mouth and demonstrating an enthusiastic response.

One of my favorite examples is the Want Ad for “toddler teachers.” Of course we know the objective is to hire individuals who educate toddlers, but all I can imagine are very small teachers, slightly wobbly on their feet, wearing diapers and holding Sippy Cups.

In the business arena, being more careful with language can yield better results by including specifics that add value. So rather than end your letter with, “We’ll follow up next week,” a stronger phrase would be, “Joe Smith, our Business Development Director, will call you on Monday or will e-mail you the presentation after the conference” – both of which provide a name, title, timeline, and action. That phrasing communicates more completely with the prospect and gives him/her a heads up about what to expect.

Try this exercise to replace the inanimate object with a “living” word.

• Hospitals strike over wages.
• Farms milk their cows in the afternoon.
• These cars guarantee good mileage.
• Websites want you to check the boxes.
• Books expect to be read cover to cover.

Stymied? Try “hospital workers,” “farmers,” “car dealers,” “web advertisers,” and “authors.”

Maybe we impose human characteristics on inanimate objects because we’re fond of them or because we want to personalize the experience. It’s a curious trend that has little to do with intelligence – or as some might say – “colleges expect you to know this stuff when you graduate, even though they rarely teach it.” Gosh, if only they had employed professors!

Recently I noticed a name change on an e-mail and congratulated an acquaintance on what seemed to be a marriage. She pointed out with some humor that actually, it was an “UN-marriage,” to which my only defense was brute honesty: “Well, let me take my foot out of my mouth and wish you well nonetheless.”

Finding the right words in sticky situations or writing with tact when you’d rather throw a tantrum requires discipline and finesse.

What words do you choose when:

1. Your boss or someone of authority says something completely wrong.

Help them save face but correct the information with words like these: “It’s interesting you say that; I’ve often thought so too, but I recently read about another theory.”

2. Someone takes credit for what you do.

One approach is to joke with a knowing tone and Palin wink: “Well, you must admit, you had a little help with that. Surely you can’t forget when you came in on Monday and found me sleeping at my desk after a weekend of research.”

3. You’re asked an incredibly personal question.

Recover by repeating in utter disbelief what the other person has said. That buys you time. “Does my disability affect my sex life? Gosh, I don’t know. Let me go ask my partner.”

4. You’ve just eaten the worst meal of your life when you’re asked if you enjoyed it.

As not to hurt your host’s feelings, choose words that address the experience, not the food. “It reminds me of when I was a little girl…” or … “the presentation was simply beautiful” … or “I didn’t even know you could get haggis in this part of the world!”

5. You’re asked to do an unreasonable favor.

Stand your ground, but provide a solution if possible: “I’d lend you $5,000 if I could, but right now every cent is going toward college/to pay off debt” or “I can’t drive you into the airport during rush hour, but I’ll help pay for a cab or take you to the express bus.”

What do you do when written words are expected?

1. You’ve been asked to critique your friend’s writing, and it’s abysmal.

Compliment the effort or a strong element: “I liked your description of the dog” or “the setting was very original.” Rather than say, “Your plot is a rip-off,” use words like, “The story reminds me of XYZ.” Or “This feels a lot like such-and-such author. Have you ever read his work?” Or perhaps, “Super start! Have you checked out XYZ class? I hear it’s great for new writers.”

2. A peer or someone on your staff submits an idea which is seriously flawed.

You don’t want to dash their enthusiasm, but you can’t run with it. Try words like, “I like the way you’re thinking, but you’re probably not aware of XYZ,” or “This sounds like something that would be even better for That Other Department/Project since it relates to ABC.”

3. You’re expected to do something against your principles.

Explain calmly that you understand the project and why you can’t complete it. Offer to do something else. “I appreciate your assigning me a story about my first kill, but I should tell you that I am personally against hunting. I can report on the subject, but I simply can’t participate.”

4. Your name is given as a reference without your permission.

You can’t give Sally the reference she wants, but you don’t want to crush her opportunity, so respond by using words with deeper meaning. Don’t say, “Sally is slow as molasses,” but say, “Sally is methodical in everything she does.” “Don’t say, “Joe never shows up on time,” but say, “Joe is at his best on a flexible schedule where he can conduct business on his own timeline.”

5. You’re asked to provide free writing services.

Be helpful, but don’t be used. Try words like these: “I’m flattered you think I can write grant proposals, but that really requires a different skill set.” “I’d be happy to brainstorm about your term paper, but I can’t write it for you.” “Writing a business plan is a huge undertaking. I simply don’t have the time” or, “So sorry, I’m on a ‘non-compete.’ ”

What about those rare occasions when you are speechless – such as at a surprise party or upon receiving an award? Be humble, be inclusive, be moderately brief – but relish every word!